Today I have decided to quit the 6-man outriggers canoeing. I haven't reveal it to anyone outside my close-knitted group, but I thought I will do a "Dear Diary" here as a start.
Initially I was not going to quit. I thought - I pay my fees, which gives me the option of attending a training session. It will also a good way to support my club, who has, unknowingly, helped me out of depression.
I guess, we humans are dynamic creatures.
It's been a while since I have been on a 6-man. Partly due to my running commitments, but also because I simply live and worked too far from the water to make regular training (and related social activities) viable. Over time I am guessing the club might have thought I don't like them, or don't get along???
I don't know, but I do understand. It's difficult to socialise with folks that live far apart from you. Like, you really have to make an effort, and I mean, A LOT of effort. There are only a few people in my world that will I would make such an effort, and I believe the reverse also applies to others.
The trigger point came when I asked to be in a race recently, only to be flatly denied a place "because I have not seen you at training" - even thought in reality I have been paddling regularly on the 1-man.
It was depressing. The very thing that helped me out of depression made me depressed.
Oh, the irony.
I will however continue my paddling journey on the One. I loved paddling. And I don't think I will ever let that go.
See ya later Orange Crew!
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